Happy Women's Day.

MY ADVICE TO MEN ON WOMEN’S DAY
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I am guessing that women must be fed-up of the bushels of advice pouring in from all quarters – advice on love, money, family, work, balance thereof, marriage, parenting, in-laws, dating and relationships, health and fitness, leaning in, reclining, safety, fashion, and quite a few other things too numerous to mention here individually by name – and I certainly don’t want to add anything more to the cacophony and confusion that they are already being subjected to.

Also, I feel I am one X chromosome short of the required minimum to provide any kind of advice to those with two of them, so let me instead try to address the gender segment that seems to be relatively neglected from the advice point of view. I don’t mean from their wives or mothers or auto magazines, but in general. Of course, advising men on Women’s Day could be misinterpreted by some feminists as yet another injustice to women, but I’m willing to take that chance.

At the very beginning let me confess that I am not any kind of advice guru, so please take all of the following with a pinch of salt and know that Your Mileage May Vary. But for what it’s worth, here goes -

Women are people too

It seems like this would be an obvious enough fact, but apparently there are men who still consider them as chattels, or sexual-gratification objects, or baby-producing or housework machines, or punching bags, or various other such unflattering things. To all such men may I say, with the deepest possible sincerity -

Just what the eff is wrong with you?

I mean, like, seriously.

Then there are also some men who consider women, (somewhat generously, in their own opinion) as wives, mothers, sisters, daughters and many other type-defined role-playing objects, and take pains to treat them in a manner commensurate with those roles. Unfortunately, it appears that many times the (most important) role of “person” seems missing from their otherwise long list.

Women deserve our honesty and respect

Again, this seems very obvious when put down on paper like this, so why is it that hard to put into practice? In general, everyone deserves our honesty and respect, and that means women too (refer above). And especially women we love. I’m not talking about the little white lies, of course, like Yes, I have scrubbed each bathroom tile orNo, of course that dress doesn’t make you look fat - some of those we can probably let slide in the interest of world peace and self-preservation.

But saying Yes, honey, of course I love you while lusting (or worse) after every hot-blooded woman you see is not really being very honest. And no, buying roses, or even diamonds, on Valentine’s day is not sufficient compensation. Because honesty and respect are not just about words, but also intents and actions. And the more self-consistent they are, the more honest and respectful they will be.

And lastly,

Don’t hit women

It does seem like I’m simply overstating the obvious, does it not? But I guess many men have yet to receive this memo. In caveman times maybe it was considered fine to club your mate over the head and drag her back home as a courtship ritual, but you should know that it is no longer in fashion. Yes, it may appear that being physically stronger than women (in many cases) bestows some sort of divine right to exercise that strength in the pursuit of one’s goals, but let me assure you that it does not, and it never has (at least not since we started calling it civilization).

Neither is being drunk, frustrated, unhappy, stressed at work, angry, or even perceived manhood-insulted, an excuse to ever, ever, ever hit a woman. We must know that it does not ever make us superior, or any more manly. If anything, it only exposes our lack of manliness. So – and contrary to Nike’s slogan – Just Don’t Do it.

(Sidebar – I don’t want to sound judgmental in any way but I cannot understand how women can let themselves be subjected to violence at home, especially when their own kitchen is such a veritable trove of offensive and defensive weaponry. Still, I am sure they must have their reasons).

…

Well, I guess that ought to do it – I’m sure there are many more bits of advice I can write about, but given our attention span deficits and the proliferation of cricket on Indian television, I am not sure it would make any more of a difference than it already hasn’t, so I shall at least spare some trees in the unlikely event that someone decides to print this.

And just say to all the women out there -

Happy International Women’s Day!

May the force always be with you. Or at least not against you.



@10009jamedia